Alright, let’s get right down to it. What actually goes down on these things?
Well, sex! Just not on balconies for safety reasons. However, public playrooms and dark room parties — where indiscriminate sexual contact occurs under poor lighting in passengers‘ private cabins — are always an evening option and all manner of adult entertainment abounds, such as Cirque Du Soleil, comedy shows, parades, couples massages, theme nights, and pool deck competitions. “Like Spring Break for oversexed adults!” said travel agent Kevin (who tells us it’s not typical to use last names publicly in the adult travel industry), co-owner of TheSwingerCruise.com and longtime lifestyle — another term for swinger — cruiser.
Does sex stuff happen all day long too?
Not exactly. During the day, passengers can check out seminars on topics such as using toys, dealing with jealousy (smart), enriching your relationship through communication, and finding the G spot, which should definitely be the name of the nightclub in this place. BDSM classes are also offered, which educate on everything from flogging, to beginning rope tying, to advanced rope tying. When in port, private clothing-optional excursions like beach parties or catamaran tours are often available, but so are normal activities like zip lining and diving while not having sex.
So we have to be swingers?
Not quite. First and foremost, these cruises are a kid-free zone for couples, and rarely marketed as strictly a swingers cruise, or strictly a nude cruise, or strictly any other kind of fringe interest cruise. Simply, bars are open later, orgies are completely elective, and pole dancing/hand sanitizer is heavily encouraged. “Freedom is the biggest thing,” said Bob, founder of Couples Cruise, the main charter company that’s hosted 11 of these jaunts as of this writing. Along with his wife Tess, Bob basically invented these things. “You can be sexy, be flirtatious, be who you are — some people never get nude.” The point is you totally can get naked (in specified locations) if you want to. Kevin confirmed, “Everyone flies their own freak flag and nobody judges.” At least not out loud.